Everything You Want
by XavierJulius
Summary: Kendall is everything Logan says he wants, so why doesn't he want him? Based on Vertical Horizon's song. Will be multi-chapter. Please R&R! :D
1. Chapter 1

**Everything You Want**

**Logic: "Everything You Want" (by Vertical Horizon) is my favorite song. Therefore, Kogan shall be written for it. Seriously, listen to it. It's like, the official song of friendzones. **

**So, here ya go :P This is in Kendall's POV, y'all. It switches in later chapters, but I'll tell you when.**

It's safe to say that Logan is lonely. He dated Camille for a long time, but eventually she became more famous, and moved out. After that, they grew apart. Now, Logan goes on lots of dates. Just this week he's been out with two blondes, two brunettes, and a redhead. I think tonight is a black-haired girl. Who knows? He is currently at home though, flipping through a book about bees. The TV is on, but the volume is low and I doubt he even knows what show is on. I walk out of our bedroom, casually plopping on the couch by him.

"Hey, Logan," I say, tracing my fingers over the orange fabric under me.

"Hey," he says, looking up from his book for a second to smile at me, "what's up?"

"Nothing as usual," I sigh.

"You should come out with me and Raven tonight," he decides, "It'd beat staying home like you _always _do."

"Well, I don't like dating like you do," I protest.

He just gives me a look.

"Plus, I can't just awkwardly tag along on your date."

"Kendall, it's called a _double date_."

"Who could I possibly go with?" I argued.

"Take Lucy."  
Okay, now he's going too far.

"You _know _I don't like Lucy. Never have; never will. We're friends. And she happens to like me. But I _do not _like her. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Calm down. I'll find you a date. Raven has plenty of cute friends."

I open my mouth to protest, but he gives me the look again and I frown. One look, that's all it takes for me to be putty in his hands.

Before I know it, I'm stuffed in a shirt and tie, and Logan is combing my hair and reminding me to brush my teeth and all kinds of other crap.

"Logan don't you think this is too much? I'm going on _one date_ with this girl, not entering her season of the Bachelorette."

He just gives me the look. He also chokes back a giggle. Yet somehow, he maintains the look the whole time. And that's why it didn't surprise me that I was standing on the doorstep of a girl I've never met in my life twenty minutes later.

The door swung open, revealing two stunning girls. One girl, who I assumed was Raven, had tan skin, black hair clipped up in a weird bun, and was wearing an electric blue dress. She was pretty and cool, but she didn't really look like Logan's type. Her friend was beautiful. Caramel hair fell in waves, and her eyes were a shocking grey. She wore a flowy maroon top, with ripped jeans and heels way too tall for her feet.

"Logan," Raven said loudly, smiling and dashing to hug him.

The other girl smiled more softly, reaching out to shake my hand.

"Hey," she said softly, "I'm Emily."

"Kendall," I introduced, "Nice to meet you."

Logan looked over at me and winked, leading us to his car. I grimaced upon discovering that I had been demoted to the back seat. The car ride consisted of my constant questions as to where we were going; each one Logan left unanswered. We finally arrived at a beach. That was all. No restaurants, no shops, no nothing. Just a beach. I turned to Logan.

"What's the big idea?"

Logan smirked, pulling a basket out of the car. He rolled his eyes.

"It's called a picnic. You know, eating?"

I rolled my eyes back. Logan was being a little bit of a dick today.

We set up the picnic and ate, making small talk all the while. Though Emily was really sweet, and I enjoyed talking to her, I really couldn't imagine myself going on dates with her. As expected, Logan and Raven weren't really hitting it off, either. It was a similar situation; both were nice people, but not really for each other. After eating, Emily suggested that she and I take a walk.

"I have something I need to tell you," she said softly, once we were out of the others' earshot.

"What?"

"I'm a lesbian," she admitted, "I… Raven was having trouble finding someone to come so I agreed to this but…"

"I'm gay," I told her, cutting her off, "I was forced into this. Logan's my best friend, but I never told him because-"

"You like him?" she offered.

"Is it that obvious?" I frowned, blushing.

"Well, I know what it's like," Emily admitted, winking.

"Hey," I said, "Can I have your number? I mean, we couldn't date but… we could be friends. I think I like you."

Emily smiled warmly, pulling a pen out of her bag and scribbling her digits on my palm. We talked for the rest of the night about this and that, and when we got home, I barely even wanted to kill Logan for taking me out. That is until Logan said,

"So, I see you got some digits."

"We're just friends," I told him.

"Yeah right," he laughed.

"Really," I said, "I don't want to date her."

"C'mon," he said, "Emily is totally hot. You've gotta be either gay or in love with someone else if you don't want to date _her_."

"Or both," I mumble, but he catches me.

"You… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that… I mean, I was joking and I didn't-"

"Logan, relax," I say, "I know. I should've mentioned this before but… you're my best friend. It would've just been _awkward_."

"Well," he chuckled, "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Tell you later," I improvised, "But first, a question for you."

"Shoot."  
"Why are you dating girls like Raven?"

"She's a nice girl!" he protested.

I tried on the look.

"Logan, she's awesome, but she's totally not you're type."

"I know." He frowned.

"You have a type," I assured him, "Tell me what you like in a dream date."

"Well, I like someone wild, because I'm not, and I need that. I need someone who will stand their ground. Someone who is as crazy about me as I am about them. I need someone who will accept me for my nerdy self, but someone who isn't a nerd. I need someone cool, confident, and caring. Someone like…"

"Me," Kendall whispered, but Logan's impeccable hearing picked up on him again.

"Well, yeah," he laughed, "Like you I guess."  
"Does that mean…"  
"Kendall, I'm not into you, or any guys, like that…"  
"Logan, why does it matter? You always say you can't live without me. You tell me you wish you were more like me. Whenever you're upset, I _always _say something that makes you feel better. I'm cool. I'm confident. I'm caring. I'm everything you say you want. When you were listing things you want, just now, you _never _said anything about girls. If your magic fairy heard that very speech, it would've sent you _me._ You know why? It's because I'm exactly what you're asking for and to top it off, _I love you. _I fucking LOVE YOU, Hortense Logan Henry Mitchell. I love you now, I loved you the day I spilled juice on you in kindergarten, and you better fuckin' believe I'm never gonna stop. And I'm _every fucking thing _you've asked for. But one tiny little detail makes that not enough for you. Just because I'm a guy. Your perfect little dream description never once mentioned appearances, or anything sexual, so why the fuck does it matter? You know what, Logan? I love you, but having said that: FUCK YOU!"

And with that, I ran off to our room, slamming the door. I collapsed on my bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Logan banged on the locked door, but I ignored him. I couldn't handle anything he had to say right now. I grabbed a box of tissues off of the shared dresser, clutching it next to me. Ripping out tissue after tissue, I ran out of the white sheets before I ran out of snot and emotions. Realizing that it was late and Logan needed to sleep, too, I stormed out to get the bathroom supply of tissues, leaving the door open for him. I didn't know where we would go from here, but I sure as hell hoped it would be better than tonight.

Ta-da! Not amazing, I know. I was thinking each chapter could go off a different song. What do y'all think? If you have a good song, put it in your review!

And with that, I request that you review. It would mean the world to me! Love you guys! :)

~Sophieeee (XavierJulius)


	2. Chapter 2

Kendall slept on the couch last night. I decided not to bother him, instead waiting for today. I want him to be well-rested and thinking clearly when I confront him. I also want him to be in a good mood. So, I'm making pancakes. I know it's working when I hear him yawn, and his feet hit the ground. I quickly go over what I'm going to say in my head, but it all melts away when he walks out.

"Morning," I say, smiling softly at him, "Pancakes?"

"Duh," he says, laughing.

I slide a stack of chocolate chip pancakes on the plate where he sits down, putting James' banana pancakes and Carlos' everything candy ones in their spots. I bring my own strawberry ones and sit down across from Kendall. We eat in silence for a minute before he finally speaks up.

"Logan, I'm sorry about last night. I overreacted, and I know I can't change the way you feel about me. It's just… it's hard, you know? Loving someone is hard. And even more when there's something so big as sexuality in between. But I can't change you. I just… promise me we can forget this? I want to be your best friend, Logan, so I don't want this to change anything. I don't want to lose you because of a stupid mistake I made."

"Kendall, it… it means a lot to me that you apologized. I mean, I didn't intend to hurt you. I hope you know that. I wish I could say I feel the same way. And I have something to admit, but it's hard to say. Kendall… I lied to you yesterday. I'm bisexual. I've been denying it for so long but… when I told you I was straight yesterday I finally realized I was lying. To you, and to myself. But… nonetheless, I can't say I feel the same way. I just can't. You were right, okay? You are _everything _I want, and I have no idea why I don't love you…"

"You know that made me feel worse, right?"

"I know," I say, sighing, "I'm sorry."

"Well…" he says, before shutting his mouth, not knowing what to say.

"I just… I don't know. I'm sorry."

"I know," he says, "I… I love you. And… I guess it's just weird having you know."

"…Yeah," I say, "I can see that. Listen, I've gotta go. Wake James and Carlos up?"

"Sure," he says.

"Thanks," I say, smiling.

I get up from the table and go get dressed, picking out a grey v-neck and black skinny jeans. I sigh. Kendall always tells me I look good in this. I don't know how I'm going to deal with this. I mean, I love Kendall but… Well, that's the thing. I love him so much, and I would totally date him but the attraction just isn't there. I feel safe and warm and happy around him but I've never felt a spark with him or thought about him in a sexual sort of way. I don't know if I could. Sighing, I slip on some shoes, gel my hair, and walk out the door.

Getting in the BTR-mobile, I head off to my interview. As far as anyone else knows, I have a doctor's appointment. I can imagine how they would react if they found out I'm going out trying to get some minimum-wage, no education required job. They would question my interest in the band, my intent on going to college, and they would think I'm a traitor. But, the truth is, I want to make money. I mean, money that isn't accounted for and expected to be present, and to document everything I buy. I want my own money, to spend on the things that everyone else doesn't even know I want. I get out of the car at a somewhat local coffee shop. It's a nice place, and somewhere that I've never seen anyone I know go in. I pull on a cardigan, trying to look my best for my interview with the manager.

I walk into the shop, greeted by the warm smell of coffee, and ask an employee behind the counter where to go for my interview. She smiles, calling me by name and pointing me to a door in the back, telling me that the manager, apparently named James, would be right in there. I smiled back, entering the room, but do a double take when I see that the manager is, in fact, James Diamond.

"James, you…"

"Logan? _You're _the guy I'm interviewing?"

"Yes…" I say, "I guess I am. Don't tell the guys I'm here?"

He laughs.

"Don't tell them _I _am! I'm afraid they'll kill me if they find out I'm working somewhere else."

"Me too…" I say, "So why _do _you work here?"

"I want to have money that they don't know I have. So I can buy stuff without them asking what exactly I spent that last 20 bucks of my paycheck on or whatever."

"Me too," I say, not bothering to ask what he wants to buy. Mostly because I don't want him to ask me.

"So, Logan, sit down," he says, "I've got an interview to do."  
I sit down, rolling my eyes at him.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, mister," he jokes.

"Sorry, _sir_," I laugh.

"So, let's see that resume?"

I hand him the piece of paper. He read it over, even though he knows every job I've ever had.

"Hmm… Movie theater, babysitting, pop star… not bad!"  
"You had all those jobs, too," I remind him.

He just laughs.

"Well, I think you'd be good. You have a training session this Monday at 4, kay?"

"Yeah," I say, "Hey, by the way, if I have the car, how'd you get here?"

"Motorcycle."

"You don't have a… how long have you worked here?"

"Almost a year," he admits. I roll my eyes.

"Okay, bye. See you at dinner," laugh.

"Laters," he says, shooing me out.

I sigh. Now _that's _a guy I'm attracted to.

**Dun, dun, dun. What do y'all think? What does Logan want to buy? Besides a motorcycle, what does James want? Does James like Logan back? Is Kendall secretly Logan's one true love? Where the fuck is Carlos? Stay tuned for all the answers! …Er, eventually. They might not all be in the next chapter.**

**Thanks for reading! Love you! Review? :)**


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